it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
