You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
