Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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