he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
