Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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