i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
