I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
