I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
