I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
