took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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