9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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