well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
time to smoke my breakfast
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize