I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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