haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have demons in me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
