So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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