So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
