It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He kissed a someone with a penis
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
