There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
