that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
