i just google imaged poop.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
