You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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