Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
