Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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