Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
