Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
