He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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