It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
