I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
