I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
