i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
