Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
