I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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