This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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