After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
