and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Randomize