Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
