My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize