I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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