you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
