I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
