I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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