he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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