he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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