like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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