Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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