Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
