He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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