Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
