covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
