Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You are a genius and a whore.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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