This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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