I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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