Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
