Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
