If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
