I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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