and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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