...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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