So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
