We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Vodka?
Forever.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
