I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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