Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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