No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize