Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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