Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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