Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
