you thought your balls were fighting each other...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
