thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
