Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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