I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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