Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
