Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize